I've been trying to pick up some of my better older habits again, and playing music is one of them. While I was living in Hawaii, I learned to play ukulele and loved it. I kept up with it for awhile after coming back to the mainland, but it soon fell off of the long to-do list. Trying to get back at it isn't easy, but it will be well worth it. It's a stress relief and takes me back to a really awesome experience in my life.
You are not a dummy. But if you were, you would want these basic things to start out. First, an ukulele. Since you're just starting out, and you might not want to commit right away, you can always head here. What I really truly recommend doing is committing right away, and get a hand crafted Hawaii-made one, maybe from here!
Ukulele For Dummies will probably help you out, even though you are not a dummy. Disclaimer: I took classes, I did not use this. But it should get you started.
Felt picks! Helps produce a great sound on your little nylon strings, no 'clicking' and protects the wood on your beautiful new treasure, because we all get a little enthusiastic sometimes. (Or you can just strum it with your finger.)
A case is a must. There are soft 'gig bags', but I just don't like 'em. I like to put my ukulele away when I'm not playing or put it in the trunk if I'm going somewhere, so a hard case is what's up. And get a cute one like this if you like cute things.
If you're not sure whether you have an ear for pitch yet, maybe think about a tuner? Ya know, so your dog doesn't howl or hide under the coffee table. These ones look pretty dope and they're cheap.
If you walk away from reading this a little inspired to try out the uke, I will be happy. If you walk away from reading this inspired to pick up any new instrument, I will be very happy. Do you play a different instrument? Let me know! Maybe you can skype teach me!